💖 LOVE: Conditional or Unconditional?

Does your love come with conditions, or can you truly sit in the unconditional nature of love?

I believe true love is one without conditions. Yet, so many of us have never fully experienced it—either in receiving or in giving. Society has taught us love as something to be earned, something given when we meet certain expectations. But love, from a soul perspective, is simply what we are.

✨ Love is the very essence of our being. It just IS. ✨

When we enter this world, love is the only emotion we come in with. It’s why the gaze of a newborn child radiates such pure, unconditional love—so powerful that it moves many to tears.

And yet, the love most of us grew up with came wrapped in conditions:

👉 Be good, and you’ll get love.
👉 Get good grades, and you’ll be praised.
👉 Be quiet, behave, don’t make waves—and love won’t be withheld.

For many of us, love was subtly (or not so subtly) taken away when we didn’t meet expectations. A hug withheld. A cold shoulder. A disappointed glance. Love became something to strive for, not something inherent to our existence.

But let me be clear: this isn’t about blame. Our parents, caregivers, and ancestors were likely raised the same way—love passed down with invisible strings attached. Generational patterns are powerful, but they are not unbreakable.

❤️ The Impact of Conditional Love

The greatest consequence of learning conditional love isn’t just in childhood. It shows up in adulthood—in our relationships, friendships, and even in the way we love ourselves.

We create rules for love.
We expect others to fit inside boxes we’ve designed.
We hold love hostage until someone meets our expectations—often without them even knowing what those expectations are.

And when they fail? We feel rejected, unseen, or unloved.
Not because they don’t love us—but because we have unknowingly set love up to be earned, instead of freely given.

A Personal Story 💡

A few months ago, I had a moment of realization—one that hit me hard.

I was at my parents’ house, feeling deeply connected, open, and ready to share. The energy I work with for hands-on healing had felt stronger than ever, and I had a download—a beautiful way to offer healing to my dad.

Excited, I told him, “I’d love to do a healing session for you, but you’ll need to lie down.”

He shook his head. “I’ll do it, but only sitting.”

I was furious.
How could he reject my offering? I stormed off, ranting to my mom in frustration.

And then—another download hit.
A truth I didn’t want to see, but needed to.

I was offering love, with a condition attached.
He had to accept my love on my terms—and when he didn’t, I took it away.

That realization broke me open. Through tears, I walked back to the kitchen, wrapped my arms around my dad, and apologized. Love doesn’t have rules. Love doesn’t demand. Love just IS.

💡 What Would Unconditional Love Do?

✨ It would have let go of control.
✨ It would have honored his comfort, not my expectation.
✨ It would have understood that love is not about how it is received, but how it is given.

One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes sums it up perfectly:

"I am grateful to have been loved and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn't just hold—that's ego. Love liberates. It doesn't bind."

An Invitation to Awareness 💫

The first step to changing anything is awareness.

So, I invite you to reflect:
🔹 How do you hold love—conditionally or unconditionally?
🔹 Do you expect love to look a certain way before you accept it?
🔹 Can you begin to move from a space of unconditional love—first and foremost, for yourself?

Because here’s the hardest part: Loving ourselves without conditions is where it starts.

💌 If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you! Drop me a message, sign up for my newsletter, and follow along on social media for more insights.

Sending you pure, unconditional love. 💖